[ it's instinctual to want to pull away. he wants to roll over, slide out of bed so quickly she can't catch him, and bounce off the walls in an effort to ping pong her into another topic of conversation that's much lighter. but barry feels heavy from her gaze, and his feet, despite being powerful, feel weighted for once. he has one shoe on; he knows what it says on the toe, but he feels like he's failing incredibly. ]
[ after a long moment of being still, barry comes back to himself, and rolls over onto his back. lifting an arm to press the back of his hand against his forehead, he looks up at the ceiling and refuses to glance at her from the corner of his eye. ]
[ he remains like that, as though his hand on his temple will somehow shield him from her. the shadows used to scare him because of what they hid. now, he finds that he would rather disappear into them. and that's where he had tried to fold himself into, back when the singularity had formed, when ronnie had died and the city had almost gone with him. he'd effectively pushed her away for a good six months, but there'd come a moment where he felt her digging her fingers into his skin. he knows, in this moment, he worries of her unlatching them. there'll come a time where those he pushes away take it as their turn to leave, and barry, despite the hardships he's faced in being vulnerable, doesn't want that. ]
[ there's only so much patience he can expect from iris west, and he suspects he's almost used it all up. ]
[ voice quiet, ] I was just thinking about Zoom. I'm supposed to be the fastest man alive, but I can't — [ he presses his lips together and inhales deeply through his nose. his fingers shift against his forehead, but barry remains purposefully still. thinking is easier to say than dreaming; zoom haunts him wherever he goes, from the corridors to his head, but it seems much softer, like he's in control, if he so much as chooses to think on that speed demon. ] I couldn't run like I can run now. And I still failed at saving them. [ he shrugs his shoulders in an attempt to dislodge it all from himself. ]
ACTION. | 🐻
[ after a long moment of being still, barry comes back to himself, and rolls over onto his back. lifting an arm to press the back of his hand against his forehead, he looks up at the ceiling and refuses to glance at her from the corner of his eye. ]
[ he remains like that, as though his hand on his temple will somehow shield him from her. the shadows used to scare him because of what they hid. now, he finds that he would rather disappear into them. and that's where he had tried to fold himself into, back when the singularity had formed, when ronnie had died and the city had almost gone with him. he'd effectively pushed her away for a good six months, but there'd come a moment where he felt her digging her fingers into his skin. he knows, in this moment, he worries of her unlatching them. there'll come a time where those he pushes away take it as their turn to leave, and barry, despite the hardships he's faced in being vulnerable, doesn't want that. ]
[ there's only so much patience he can expect from iris west, and he suspects he's almost used it all up. ]
[ voice quiet, ] I was just thinking about Zoom. I'm supposed to be the fastest man alive, but I can't — [ he presses his lips together and inhales deeply through his nose. his fingers shift against his forehead, but barry remains purposefully still. thinking is easier to say than dreaming; zoom haunts him wherever he goes, from the corridors to his head, but it seems much softer, like he's in control, if he so much as chooses to think on that speed demon. ] I couldn't run like I can run now. And I still failed at saving them. [ he shrugs his shoulders in an attempt to dislodge it all from himself. ]